The domains of head and heart

As I ride the BART in to work, I feel like I am transiting from the domain of heart to the domain of head.

At home, I have been learning to sit, to breath, to live, and to love in the moment. I have been practicing patience, appreciating the world as it is right now, breathing in the scent of the flowers in spring, the sounds of music, and the endless moments of now.

At work, I reside primarily in my head. This is the domain of solving problems, where we are creating the world as we would would have it. We continuously construct the future, thought by thought and line by line. Instead of casually passing across the surface of experience, thoughts are the edifice of our day to day.

I am happy in both places, but to date they feel like two parts of me, not yetknowing how to coexist, and each somewhat fearful of the other. The train ride between has become a time of uncertainty and transition, with the domain of heart resisting and the domain of head eagerly pressing forward.

At least now I am aware of both, and perhaps by noticing them together they will begin to learn about each other and make peace.

Waiting for the Train

From under the overhang
of the space-age dome
of the Millbrae BART station

which some days seems so ordinary
so every day
so normal
but today seems like
something out of a science fiction novel

From under that overhang
I sit here

listening for the screeching
of the train
and hearing only the rattle
of the escalator, the whirring
of the air vents, the whine
of the lights, and the chattering
of the voices behind me.

The clouds continue their
majestic march
across the sky as I sit here,
waiting for the 7:54 southbound
that is just arriving.

Barting to my last day at work

I sit here
watching a year of frozen moments
every day the same
every day unique.

The abuelita sitting sideways
is knitting a story about
the young couple caressing
in the middle seats.

There is a girl looking sad
just like every day
one more soul pondering
what has been lost.

Today is like every day
lasting forever
yet ending before I
know it has begun.

Like life, like love,
like working in Berkeley.

Tonglen on the BART

Looking at you
pregnant lady on the BART
your features etched
with sadness
I feel your pain
as if it were mine
and wish
as I have so often wished
That I were a little braver.

Brave enough to say aloud to you
"Whatever saddens you,
I hope it is better soon".

Such simple words
but I cannot say them
so instead I sit here
in the corner
breathing in your suffering
and breathing out peace.

I doubt it really helps you
but I pray it might.