Friday, May 1, 2009

My doing-mind

My doing-mind looks at the world through a lens of action. What am I doing today? How can I use my hours to do the most work? The best work? Even when I'm trying to avoid work, it is a reaction to too much doing, still seen through the lens of a doing-focused vision.

The problem with this doing-mind is that it doesn't leave much time for just being, and even less for becoming. When I'm working hard to optimize what I'm doing, it's very difficult to stay aware of just being where I am right now. My doing-mind misses the beauty and wonder of the world at this moment, always focused on what I'm doing the next, while the time floats by like the mist.

Sometimes, I awake suddenly, relaxing my constant grasping of the world my doing-mind is creating, and notice the more glorious world around me sneaking through the curtains and shining into my awareness. It seems at those times that I can be in that moment forever, that the world of my imaginings is so much paler in comparison that it will never again compete, and that I am becoming something new and good and more real than my doing-mind could ever create.

The next day, when I find the curtains closed and my doing-mind returned in full force, I wonder...

Was it a dream?

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